Do Not Provoke the Chickens


sign do not provoke the chickens 2

The small print on the sign reads:

“Provoked chickens go off their feed.

When they go off their feed they stop laying eggs.

Then I lose revenue.

The banks foreclose; I’m turned out, homeless, penny-less, on the dole even, whilst you and your mates had a lark frightening chickens.

Since I will have lots of time on my hands I will find you.

You will beg for mercy, there will be none.

I will go all Liam Neeson on you.

I promise it will be bad, very bad, the worst ever.*

Please, for the love of all that is civilized,

Do Not Provoke the Chickens.”


*Cleaning chicken coops.


 c 2018.